I Would've Baked a Cake

"Steve in Manhattan" (blogenfreude01) 09/03/2017 at 17:43 • Filed to: None

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Every year, when we were kids, mom baked us a birthday cake. She used, of course, a Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines mix. Best birthday cake in the world. But I am stubborn, so I always find more complex ways to make things. A friend of ours is having a birthday today, and I’ve never used a cake mix. So WTF, I’ll try it.

Never looks like the picture on the box, but easy to do. It’s hidden in the microwave. And because I had to level it (used to make ice cream cakes at a Baskin Robbins) I know for a fact that the cake tastes pretty damn good.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 17:51

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I actually just made a cake yesterday for a work function. From scratch.

Nibby > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:02

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Give me a cake
That I can mix and bake
In a Betty Crocker oven
That I will break

Bake it up and we will STAB STAB STAB!
Come on, don’t be afraid
We will make you STAB STAB STAB!
My world is evil but American made

$kaycog > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:14

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So your friend is 3 years old?

Great-looking cake!

fhrblig > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:27

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It seems like every time I make a cake from a mix like that, all of the standard flavors (chocolate, vanilla, yellow cake) always taste blah. But if I make a flavor like orange, lemon, or a spice cake, they are usually pretty tasty.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:43

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My mom used to make pineapple upside down cakes. Now that she’s passed, my daughter decided to give it a try. Hers was just as good. Thank God she got the baking genes. I love those cakes.

Steve in Manhattan > $kaycog 09/03/2017 at 18:46

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Add half a century and you’re in the ballpark.

Steve in Manhattan > fhrblig 09/03/2017 at 18:48

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Lemon is my favorite, but I was shot down - SigOther wanted back to basics. And I know there’s a way to add pudding to make it richer, but I decided to just do it straight and follow the instructions. I usually do not follow instructions.

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/03/2017 at 18:49

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I spent a happy Saturday recreating my Nana’s blintze recipe. Grandmas are the best.

Steve in Manhattan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2017 at 18:49

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Well now I have baking equipment envy. Still, this adventure forced me to buy 2 nine-inch nonstick pans.

$kaycog > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:53

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Good way to do it!

JeepJeremy > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:54

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I really appreciate a yellow cake w/ chocolate icing!

fhrblig > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 18:56

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My favorite to do is a spice cake, but add some chopped up toffee bits to the batter. Not a lot, mind you, just a smattering of them. Then frost it with cream cheese frosting. And then eat the entire cake by yourself while violently fighting off your significant other.

fhrblig > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/03/2017 at 18:58

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Oh man, those are my FAVORITE. And yet I haven’t had one in forever.

Steve in Manhattan > fhrblig 09/03/2017 at 19:11

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Nana’s Blintzes

For the batter:

4 eggs
2 cups milk
1 and 3/4 cups sifted flour
1/2 tsp salt

Beat eggs well and add salt. Add flour slowly and beat it in. Add milk gradually and beat to a smooth batter. This will make a somewhat thin batter, but it works.

You will need a crepe pan or 7-8 inch bottom-diameter nonstick pan.

Pour a ladleful of batter into a hot buttered pan, wait a few seconds, then pour the excess back into the raw batter. Repeat until you have about 12-14 shells. Separate them w/ sheets of waxed paper.

For the filling:

1 pound of small curd cottage cheese
14 oz. (2 packages) farmer cheese
2 egg yolks

Mix it all together.

Assembly:

Position the shell with the tab formed from pouring out the excess at the top. Place about 3 round tablespoons of filling about an inch below the top of the shell. Fold the top part over the filling, fold in the sides so they’re square, then roll it up. Repeat.

I fry them in hot canola or peanut oil, then add butter towards the end for flavor. I think my grandmother fried them in straight butter, but I can’t remember for certain. Serve with applesauce, sour cream, or if you’re in the mood, go Russian and serve with caviar.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 19:50

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Not pictured: the Kitchenaid.

Steve in Manhattan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2017 at 19:54

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Stand mixer or food processor? I have the KA food processor, but I am not allowed to get the stand mixer because we live in a small NYC apartment.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 19:56

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Stand mixer. It’s the best kitchen gadget ever.

TheRealBicycleBuck > fhrblig 09/03/2017 at 21:11

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They are impossible to find. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in a store. It’s homemade or nothing!

Quasi Hatrack > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 21:15

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Problem solved

mazda616 > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 21:33

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I make Coca-Cola cakes a lot. Box chocolate cake mix and 12 ounces of Coca-Cola. Mix and bake according to directions/times on the box. Voila. Turns out moist and delicious like it would if you’d used eggs and such.

shop-teacher > Steve in Manhattan 09/03/2017 at 22:28

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I used to make one cake a year, for my wife’s birthday. She can’t eat it anymore though, so I abandoned that tradition.

shop-teacher > JeepJeremy 09/03/2017 at 22:29

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Yes! That’s the best cake ever!

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/04/2017 at 11:07

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Show-off

TheRealBicycleBuck > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 11:08

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We are feeling inspired. My wife thinks she and my daughter want to give this a try, but we have no idea what “farmer” cheese might be. Can you help us out with that one?

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/04/2017 at 16:10

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Gotta pick something up at Fairway, will take a photo. Also, there’s this: https://www.stinque.com/2010/08/15/stinque-recipe-challenge-nanas-blintzes/

That’s farmer cheese in the foreground.

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/04/2017 at 17:08

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This is farmer cheese - I use the salted if they have it - if not, unsalted is fine and you can add to taste.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 19:53

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Size isn’t everything.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 19:54

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You can add some pudding mix to make it denser and moister. You can also go down the street to the shop and buy a cheesecake, since cheesecake is always the best option.

Steve in Manhattan > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 09/04/2017 at 20:02

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You’re right - it’s difficult to make a cheesecake better than the one I can buy at many bakeries within 5 blocks of here.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 20:10

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I have always loved cheesecake, even when I was small when I thought it, and mandarin oranges and bow-tie pasta were the finest delicacies.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 20:11

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But it’s fun that you baked a cake and kudos to you for it. Your friend better APREESH.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 20:25

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We’ll look for it! Thanks for posting it!

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/04/2017 at 21:08

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Nana’s are savory - here you can find frozen blintzes, but sometimes they’re sweet and usually they’re not very good.

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/04/2017 at 21:10

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And the reason for using farmer cheese is because it’s more dry - if you can’t find farmer cheese, using well-drained small-curd cottage cheese will usually produce a similar result.

Steve in Manhattan > fhrblig 09/04/2017 at 21:12

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Here’s me doing them (photos) - https://www.stinque.com/2010/08/15/stinque-recipe-challenge-nanas-blintzes/

TheRealBicycleBuck > Steve in Manhattan 09/04/2017 at 22:02

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That’s good to know. I’ve never seen farmer’s cheese down south. Then again, I’ve never looked for it.

Steve in Manhattan > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/04/2017 at 22:30

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Possibly called something else - and try a kosher market. We Jews are everywhere.